Dealing With Emotional Baggage

We’re all guilty of it. It appears in numerous forms. We carry them about with us, store them in the darkest recesses of our minds and souls. We have a large collection of recollections of them. It’s not uncommon for people to shed tears at the least provocation when they think about their loved ones. Others may be enraged, harbor profound animosity, and engage in anti-social or confrontational behavior as a result of this.

Many people are haunted by shadows, whether in their dreams or in the midst of the day. Anger out of control, which has the potential to escalate into violence, can strike at any time.

Others will remain in a state of denial, completely cut off from the rest of the world. It’s always someone else’s fault if something goes wrong for certain people; they blame everyone but themselves. What about the victims and the perpetrators of abuse?

Many people get disoriented while trying to locate something they cannot place. There’s something wrong. In schools, workplaces, and churches, a horde of lonesome faces line the streets, sit in public areas, and agonize throughout the day. It’s a constant reminder that we’re all in this together. Road rage is uncontrollable because our roadways are open channels for people to vent their grievances. Scary shit!

Excessive emotional baggage may be costly. When the weight of this responsibility becomes too heavy to carry, some people succumb to it. They see no need to continue the war. They find the world harsh and pointless, and life loses its luster. If there was ever a fight, it’s over for them.

There are many people who live their lives like a piece of driftwood, allowing the river to carry them wherever it will. Is it possible that our reality is so cruel?

What is the source of this emotional pain?

Broken dreams, failed relationships, lost hopes, betrayals, violations, childhood trauma or other types of trauma, contribute to the health concerns. Many of society and the family’s most vulnerable individuals are scarred emotionally by social humiliation and financial calamities, as well as poverty and addiction.

Is our fast-paced society to blame for this? To all of this, we may now add the quest for monetary gain, an unending supply of trinkets and devices, and the rapid advancement of technology. Emotional baggage from broken relationships, diminishing familial ties, and unrealistic expectations of oneself and others is piled on. Some people bear them for a long period.

Even if our bodily requirements are met, we may still find happiness if we take time to listen to our innermost desires. In most areas, there’s an overwhelming amount of resources available, including information, organizations, specialists, and more. Society and people who suffer from deep emotional pain can no longer overlook this crucial issue. 

There has been a revival or revision of wisdom from many civilizations and beliefs in order to fit in with today’s society. If you’re looking for a comprehensive approach, you’ll find it here.

Medical and technological advances are astounding, but just swallowing a pill isn’t always the best course of action.

Determine how much emotional baggage you carry around with you.

You’re Stopping You!

“Have you ever had a great idea but didn’t follow through on it? If you identify as a “perfect” human being, you have. I’m not talking about anything extravagant. There’s nothing earth-shattering here. Simply said, it was an excellent concept that would have generated you more money. But you didn’t do anything about it. Speaking from experience here!

Full confession I’ve let many ideas remain as just that ideas. I’m the kind of person who thinks deeply and creatively. I’ve always had an ability to understand clients and come up with unique solutions for them. However, I must admit that I personally don’t feel I’m particularly successful. That’s due in large part  because I’m certainly not where I want it to be. 

The irony is that I have more fantastic ideas for growing my business. The issue is that I’ve not put many of them into action. 

So, how about you?

Have you have more ideas than you do actions? Why don’t you simply get started?

I became curious as to why I was operating the way I do, and began doing a lot of intraspection.

I started considering what it was that was preventing me from acting on ideas or plans that may result in substantial rewards?

These are some of the basic reasons I found.

1. A lack of an inspirational and compelling goal

The lack of a why is referred to as Purpose. Without a solid purpose, the urgent takes precedence. The build up of emails in the mailbox takes over. The call from a friend for help takes over. Inertia takes control.

We learn in physics that it takes more energy to break away from inertia. That energy is added by a strong aim. The energy that organizes your efforts and brings the most essential things to the forefront. You need an inspirational purpose to break free from the shackles of your existing routine.

2. Lack of a clear view

Consider yourself at a six-way stop in a fog so dense that you can’t see a single landmark. Even the traffic signs are incomprehensible to you. Which path will you take? Will you be confident in your choice of direction, or will you continue cautiously, expecting for the fog to clear before picking up the pace?

Everyone—at least everyone in business—wishes to go someplace. However, without a clear vision, it is impossible to see where you wish to go. And if you don’t see it, how will you act boldly and confidently toward it—whatever it is?

So, even if you have a strategy to get you…somewhere, you’re unlikely to carry it through. 

3. Unwilling to make sacrifices or put in the effort

You already have a lot on your plate, and anything additional you take on means something will have to be sacrificed. Sacrifice entails giving up something valuable in exchange for something even more valuable. That suggests there is something more precious to give up for. And you haven’t said what that “something” is. Or maybe you’re not convinced it’s worth it.

I began to place giving up leisure time, relaxing time, play time, or whatever in the same category. But it always comes down to sacrifice, and the key question is whether or not it’s worthwhile. (guilty as charged) There are moments when I feel I have something essential to do, but it isn’t important enough to get me to drop other “priorities”. 

4. Lack of faith

If you are positive that something will work, there is no danger, and you will most likely act. On the other hand, if you are uncertain—and most things are to some extent uncertain—you may ask if the risk is worthwhile.

Perhaps ‘it’ will work in someone else’s hands, but you don’t think it will work in yours. In other words, you lack faith in your ability to do the task, and the danger is too large.

Each of these concerns may be solved by having a strong purpose and inspirational goals to work toward. When these are powerful enough, they increase the potential benefit and shift the risk-return ratio in favor of action.

5th. Fear

It all boils down to fear at times, and this was the elephant in the room for me. You have a vision and a goal, and you believe the risks are manageable. But what happens if it doesn’t work out? What happens next? That’s what fear is. It’s not going to turn out the way you want it to. So, what will you be left with? Worse, not only will it not work out, but something negative will occur as a result of it.

6. All the other stuff

You simply have other commitments. What do you mean? Family or maybe a job. Thing is could some of it be eliminated or placed on hold?

It comes down to balancing what you have goin on with your purpose and aspirations.

You may need to refocus your priorities and rethink your alternatives in order to devote your available time and energy to pushing you on the right path.

So, how about you?

What’s holding you back? Any one of these six things, or a combination of them, can hold you back. It’s much simpler to confront and move forward after you have identified what is holding you back. 

People Don’t Always Want Your Advice!

Yes, this can be consituted as “advice”! Now read and keep an open mind.

Frequently, throughout our encounters with family and friends, the subject of troubles that they are experiencing would undoubtedly come up. Inevitably, in our efforts to be helpful, we frequently respond by offering suggestions on how to resolve the problem.

The following are some of the reasons why this is not commonly recommended:

We make the assumption that we know what the problem is and neglect to be a good listener, this limits the amount of  information about the situation and the other person’s perspective.

Many of us fail to express empathy for the plight of the other person.

We are given ‘credit’ for providing the advice since the guidance is likely to be based on something that the adviser has done or something that others have done that has been effective. When someone does not succeed, or if they have tried it previously but failed, the inference is that it was not because the advise was bad, but rather because the person has not implemented it properly. The advisee is likely to feel foolish and inept as a result of this.

When we provide counsel, it can appear that we are speaking ‘down’ to the other person because we have assumed the position of ‘expert.’ We’re so anxious to chat and demonstrate our knowledge and ‘wisdom’ that we fail to interact with the other person on a ‘equal’ level with ourselves.

In the process of becoming an expert, we may forget that the other person has information that we may benefit from as well.

We are sending the message that we believe the individual will be unable to figure out the answer on his or her own. In this case, the other person feels disempowered.

We are dismissive of the person’s efforts, which we believe are insufficient. As a result, rather than assisting the individual in self-evaluation, we take on the role of evaluator of their actions.

Another option is to listen intently, avoiding offering any level of advice, UNLESS that advice is explicitely asked for. Instead, asking questions during conversation is more beneficial since it encourages the other person to think through the challenges that they are experiencing.

The Gateway To Happiness

Do you truly desire happiness? Everyone says yes, but the path to happiness has some of us squirming in our boots. Giving to others is a path to pleasure. Consider this: “For the sake of others’ happiness, cultivate empathy. Compassion is the key to happiness.” ~ Dalai Lama.

Some of us may worry that people will take advantage of our generosity if we offer too much. In fact, your good intentions may be misconstrued as weakness by a small number of egotistical people.

However, the majority of individuals are not interested in taking advantage of the situation. “We must be the change, we want to see in the world,” attributed to Gandhi. Think about it: if we’re going to make a change, why not start with each other?

Make a donation at any time, without asking for anything in return, and don’t even tell anybody about it. Those who benefit from your charitable deeds will thank you for it. However, bigger than that, universal forces will ensure that charity is

This is what some people call “karma,” or the rule of cause and consequence. In this way, every action has a corresponding reaction. Ensure that our actions have positive outcomes.

Danny Thomas remarked, ” “Despite the fact that we are all created for a reason, we don’t know what that reason is. Life success has nothing to do with personal gains or accomplishments. It’s about what you do for others. For others, it’s about what you do for them.”

You will leave a legacy of compassion if you give up everything you have. People will try to forget you if you don’t give them something to remember you by. I want the memories I leave behind to be positive ones, since that’s all I have to go on.

So, how much should you contribute? “Heart felt,” “kind words,” a letter, a card, or a flower are all examples of “heartfelt” gestures. You’ll discover that your donations won’t leave you penniless. As a consequence, you’ll find that most individuals are naturally inclined to repay the favor.

Be courteous to everyone who provides services to you on a regular basis. When it comes to the cleaner, janitor, parking lot attendant, or customer service representative, many folks don’t even say hello.

The more you get to know the person, the more likely they are to go out of their way to provide you with excellent service, simply by addressing them with their first name.

People will appreciate your genuineness and trustworthiness no matter where you travel. That’s all there is to it. A person’s actual riches, according to Mohammed, “is the good he or she does in the world.”

Respect, Trust and Relationships

Treating people with respect wins trust and develops lasting relationships. Just a few common sense approaches to consider:

1) Show up on time. I’m raising both hands, as I’m for sure guilty of violating this one. I continue to work on strategies to improve, and the best to have worked thus far is when I plan ahead and arrive early for appointments and meetings. I utilize the Calendar on my phone, GMail, and mobile alerts that signals or prompts when to begin transferring to an appointment. The fastest way to destroy people’s trust in you is to waste their time. If you would not appreciate it, what makes you think someone else will.

2) Effective Communicate. Communication is a two way street, which means that beyond getting your voice heard, you must listen carefully and completely when people speak to you. It is pivotal for understanding. Show a genuine interest in others before giving your opinion or postulating about yourself.

3) Plan projects. For example, always prepare an agenda for meetings. Contact key participants before the meeting to hear their views, solicit suggestions for agenda items, and coach them on how to prepare for the meeting. Send agendas far enough before the meeting so that people have time to prepare. Consider: Bad meetings demonstrate an inability to provide leadership.

4) Be courteous. Find the good in everyone. Compliment others. Avoid starting or listening to gossip. Never ridicule, insult, or make fun of other people. Use positive words, always speaking about what you want and how you want things to be. Avoid suggesting motives or assigning judgments for other people’s actions and views. Consider: Discourtesy damages all relationships.

5) Help others. Be a mentor for newcomers. Share ideas. Teach people skills that will help them excel. Work with a spirit of abundance. Seek win/win results. Let others speak first, even on issues where you are an expert. Give first without attaching a receipt for return favors. Consider: Selfish people end up working harder.