You’re Stopping You!

“Have you ever had a great idea but didn’t follow through on it? If you identify as a “perfect” human being, you have. I’m not talking about anything extravagant. There’s nothing earth-shattering here. Simply said, it was an excellent concept that would have generated you more money. But you didn’t do anything about it. Speaking from experience here!

Full confession I’ve let many ideas remain as just that ideas. I’m the kind of person who thinks deeply and creatively. I’ve always had an ability to understand clients and come up with unique solutions for them. However, I must admit that I personally don’t feel I’m particularly successful. That’s due in large part  because I’m certainly not where I want it to be. 

The irony is that I have more fantastic ideas for growing my business. The issue is that I’ve not put many of them into action. 

So, how about you?

Have you have more ideas than you do actions? Why don’t you simply get started?

I became curious as to why I was operating the way I do, and began doing a lot of intraspection.

I started considering what it was that was preventing me from acting on ideas or plans that may result in substantial rewards?

These are some of the basic reasons I found.

1. A lack of an inspirational and compelling goal

The lack of a why is referred to as Purpose. Without a solid purpose, the urgent takes precedence. The build up of emails in the mailbox takes over. The call from a friend for help takes over. Inertia takes control.

We learn in physics that it takes more energy to break away from inertia. That energy is added by a strong aim. The energy that organizes your efforts and brings the most essential things to the forefront. You need an inspirational purpose to break free from the shackles of your existing routine.

2. Lack of a clear view

Consider yourself at a six-way stop in a fog so dense that you can’t see a single landmark. Even the traffic signs are incomprehensible to you. Which path will you take? Will you be confident in your choice of direction, or will you continue cautiously, expecting for the fog to clear before picking up the pace?

Everyone—at least everyone in business—wishes to go someplace. However, without a clear vision, it is impossible to see where you wish to go. And if you don’t see it, how will you act boldly and confidently toward it—whatever it is?

So, even if you have a strategy to get you…somewhere, you’re unlikely to carry it through. 

3. Unwilling to make sacrifices or put in the effort

You already have a lot on your plate, and anything additional you take on means something will have to be sacrificed. Sacrifice entails giving up something valuable in exchange for something even more valuable. That suggests there is something more precious to give up for. And you haven’t said what that “something” is. Or maybe you’re not convinced it’s worth it.

I began to place giving up leisure time, relaxing time, play time, or whatever in the same category. But it always comes down to sacrifice, and the key question is whether or not it’s worthwhile. (guilty as charged) There are moments when I feel I have something essential to do, but it isn’t important enough to get me to drop other “priorities”. 

4. Lack of faith

If you are positive that something will work, there is no danger, and you will most likely act. On the other hand, if you are uncertain—and most things are to some extent uncertain—you may ask if the risk is worthwhile.

Perhaps ‘it’ will work in someone else’s hands, but you don’t think it will work in yours. In other words, you lack faith in your ability to do the task, and the danger is too large.

Each of these concerns may be solved by having a strong purpose and inspirational goals to work toward. When these are powerful enough, they increase the potential benefit and shift the risk-return ratio in favor of action.

5th. Fear

It all boils down to fear at times, and this was the elephant in the room for me. You have a vision and a goal, and you believe the risks are manageable. But what happens if it doesn’t work out? What happens next? That’s what fear is. It’s not going to turn out the way you want it to. So, what will you be left with? Worse, not only will it not work out, but something negative will occur as a result of it.

6. All the other stuff

You simply have other commitments. What do you mean? Family or maybe a job. Thing is could some of it be eliminated or placed on hold?

It comes down to balancing what you have goin on with your purpose and aspirations.

You may need to refocus your priorities and rethink your alternatives in order to devote your available time and energy to pushing you on the right path.

So, how about you?

What’s holding you back? Any one of these six things, or a combination of them, can hold you back. It’s much simpler to confront and move forward after you have identified what is holding you back. 

Don’t Re-invent the Wheel

When was the last time a light bulb went out at your home? We no longer have to construct a light bulb because of Thomas Edison’s work. Grab a spare or go to the store, and you’re done.

Surely you are aware that Thomas Edison had to make many, many attempts before he came up with the light bulb. When someone asked him whether he was disheartened by his failures, he replied that he was not. There was no failure in his reply: “I’ve discovered another method of how not to create a light bulb”.

There is no such thing as failure, only outcomes. Insanity, according to one definition, is doing the same thing over and again and expecting a different outcome.

We need to make some adjustments to our daily routines if we want our lives to run smoothly.

We, too, have the potential to go out like a light bulb. There are times in our lives when we feel as though there is no light or hope to be found. It’s a bleak scene, to say the least.

Please allow me to shed a little light on this (pun intended). When we’re in the depths of despair, we need light to help us find our way out. While some of us are fortunate enough to have a source of light, others must leave their homes to find it.

Thoughtful thinking may go a long way, but it can only go so far for certain people. Just a little bit of light comes from it. People are in a quandary as to how to use the additional light that is now accessible.

All problems can be solved.

What’s the best way to locate the answer? It’s our choice whether or not we try to figure it out on our own, or whether we look for someone who has previously overcome this difficulty and benchmark their example.

A wide variety of media are available nowadays that might assist us in overcoming the challenges we face in our daily lives. We must study the mistakes of others in order to improve our own lives. There is a lot of wisdom to be gained from those who have been there and done that. We are lucky to have had some of the greatest philosophers in history to look up to.

There’s always room for improvement in our lives. As difficult as it may be at times, there is always hope and assistance available.

When you’re feeling down and life seems gloomy, do something for someone else without any expectations. You may also look to those notable examples in life and use them to get yourself back on track.

Let the light shine within you instead of trying to re-invent the wheel.

Stop Beating Yourself Up, It’s Not Worth It!

Do you ever find yourself or feel the need blame others? How about constantly blaming and judging yourself? There was a time when I would verbally beat myself up for mistakes, saying things like, “I’m such a f-up,” and would often say very negative things, such as, “Things will never get any better,” or “I’m a loser,” or “I’m never going to amount to much” I would begin to feel angry and agitated as a result of this self-inflicted abuse, but I never connected the anger with my self-judgment.

It began to make sense that I would not be able to stop blaming others until i stopped blaming and judging self.

I began to realize that I was letting my thoughts run rampant, never stopping to discern whether or not what I was saying to myself was the truth or a lie. As a result, i was constantly allowing the wounded part of me, my ego self, to be in charge. And this part of me was filled with all the lies i had learned in the 30 years of life.

I wanted to stop doing this, but I’ve been doing it for a large part of my life. How do I stop?”

Stopping any negative behavior is always a challenge. Changing our thought process is especially challenging. However, there is a process available, but it will only work when you’ve decided that you really want to change. Changing from being self-abusive to self-loving has to become more important to you than continuing to try to control yourself through your self-judgments.

Here are a couple steps that may help if you’re in this space:

  1. Pay attention to your feelings. Learn to be aware of when you are feeling angry, anxious, hurt, scared, guilty, shamed, depressed, and so on.
  2. Make a conscious decision to learn about what you are telling yourself that is causing your pain, rather than ignoring it, turning to substances, or continuing to abuse yourself.
  3. Ask yourself, “What am I telling myself that is causing me to feel badly?” Once you are aware of what you are telling yourself, ask yourself, “Am I certain that what I’m telling myself is the truth, or is it just something I’ve made up?” Then ask yourself, “What am I trying to control by telling myself this?”
  4. Once you are aware that you are telling yourself a lie that is causing you to feel badly, and why you are telling it to yourself, ask the highest, wisest part of yourself, or ask an inner teacher or a spiritual source of guidance, “What is the truth?” When you sincerely want to know the truth, it will easily come to you.
  5. Change your thinking, by telling yourself the truth.
  6. Notice how you feel. Lies will always make you feel badly, while the truth brings inner peace.

Any time you are not in peace, go through this process to discover what lie you are telling yourself. Eventually, with enough practice, you will be in truth and peace more and more of the time.

How Your Beliefs Determine Success

Be careful what you believe because that is what you’ll experience. Our belief system is a mechanism which is uniquely ours for the most part. It’s powered by your desire and controlled by your thoughts and actions. In other words, your success is measured by the strength of your belief.

What is it that you want? A lot of us don’t have a clue what it is we want. We can definitely express what we don’t want, and honestly that’s not a bad place to start. With that said, now is a good time to evaluate your goals and determine the end result you want to achieve. Put your goals in writing and place them where you can see them throughout the day. Read them frequently to keep them fresh on your mind. This is nothing new; however it’s not a practice that most people seem to adopt. (more…)