It’s real easy to become one of those people who love to
complain (the woe is me people). They tend to complain all the time about
everything under the sun. As a youth and young adult, I was innocent enough to
believe what people were saying. I really thought there were plenty of valid
reasons to complain: about the weather (most often), lack of money (runner-up),
“white” folk, “black” folk, neighbors, friends, coworkers,
the heavy set person taking up two seats on the subway, bad health, etc. I
assumed the world just turned out to be like this and there was nothing much I
could do about it. Being in that environment it’s really easy to get infected
by that way of being.
Fortunately for me something clicked though, especially as I
started traveling outside of the U.S., and reflecting on the culture and
society I was born into. One of the great benefits of being born and spending
time outside of the United States is having a different view of the world. Even
though I was born and raised in the central city of Georgetown, Guyana, and we
had indoor plumbing; I knew of and were friends with other kids who weren’t as
fortunate. I saw poverty of a kind not comparable to that in the U.S. Yet these
folks often had nothing but big smiles on their faces, while we had everything
and were still complaining! How could this be?
It became crystal clear to me that the complaints had
nothing to do with the outer circumstances. It was an attitude, a habit formed
over time.
As I matured, and through countless interactions in the
world, I learned that inner loneliness, clinging to expectations of how “we”
think things should be, instead of appreciating what is, was among the reasons
why we complain so much.
I realized further that the people, who seemed to complain
very little, were those who connected to something “greater” than themselves.
Here’s what shifted for me. I began to express sincere
gratitude for all the love and “hate” I had received and will keep receiving
throughout your life. I became grateful for the clean water coming out of the
tap, with just a simple gesture of my hand. Take into consideration that there
are many people in other parts of the world spending upwards of six hours every
day to get a little bit of water, and an unfortunate number die of thirst.
I became grateful for the lights that came on when I would
flip the switch in my apartment. Large parts of the world have to do without
electrical power! Say “thank you” for the variety of food that is available to
you every day, around the globe there are countless numbers who get by on one
scarce meal a day, or are simply starving.
Treating people with respect wins trust and develops lasting relationships. Just a few common sense approaches to consider:
1) Show up on time. I’m raising both hands, as I’m for sure guilty of violating this one. I continue to work on strategies to improve, and the best to have worked thus far is when I plan ahead and arrive early for appointments and meetings. I utilize the Calendar on my phone, GMail, and mobile alerts that signals or prompts when to begin transferring to an appointment. The fastest way to destroy people’s trust in you is to waste their time. If you would not appreciate it, what makes you think someone else will.
2) Effective Communicate.Communication is a two way street, which means that beyond getting your voice heard, you must listen carefully and completely when people speak to you. It is pivotal for understanding. Show a genuine interest in others before giving your opinion or postulating about yourself.
3) Plan projects. For example, always prepare an agenda for meetings. Contact key participants before the meeting to hear their views, solicit suggestions for agenda items, and coach them on how to prepare for the meeting. Send agendas far enough before the meeting so that people have time to prepare. Consider: Bad meetings demonstrate an inability to provide leadership.
4) Be courteous. Find the good in everyone. Compliment others. Avoid starting or listening to gossip. Never ridicule, insult, or make fun of other people. Use positive words, always speaking about what you want and how you want things to be. Avoid suggesting motives or assigning judgments for other people’s actions and views. Consider: Discourtesy damages all relationships.
5) Help others. Be a mentor for newcomers. Share ideas. Teach people skills that will help them excel. Work with a spirit of abundance. Seek win/win results. Let others speak first, even on issues where you are an expert. Give first without attaching a receipt for return favors. Consider: Selfish people end up working harder.
The first thing everyone wants to know after watching the movie the Secret is, “How do I use what i just learned?” That’s understandable because although the movie is good and introduces the concepts to the law of attraction, it doesn’t really tell you how to properly apply it to your life.
Step One
One of the first things you can do is, educate yourself as much as possible on the subject of the law of attraction, including what the research actually says. Here’s the honest version: there’s no scientific evidence that thoughts alone can pull outcomes into your life. In fact, a series of experiments by psychologists Heather Barry Kappes and Gabriele Oettingen found that indulging in positive fantasies about an ideal future can drain the very energy you need to go after it (Kappes & Oettingen, 2011).
The core of the secret, are your thoughts which goes a lot deeper than negative verses positive thought. Your thoughts shape what you notice and what you choose to do, and that’s where their real power lies. The biggest secret, you have to do your part! see step three…
Step Two
The second step to mastering the secret law of attraction is to get a journal. Yep, he went there. Get a journal, and begin to writing. Do you know most people have no clue what their predominant thought patterns are, nor do they even know what it is that they want. It doesn’t really matter where you begin, just start. Write what ever comes up, doesn’t even have to make sense in the beginning. The point is you’ve started…
When you get a journal you can begin to explore your feelings on a much deeper level. Seeing your feelings on paper clears it up from being cluttered in your mind. Your thoughts are a gift, and a curse, putting them to paper can be liberating. Give it a shot!
Step Three
The third step to using the law of attraction is to take small inspired action towards your goals. With your new law of attraction journal you can begin to track daily, every action you take that is in alignment with your goals. Its very hard for most people to be aware of the way they spend their time. When you set a specific plan and track it in your journal you have a better chance of seeing how your week has gone, your month and then your year.
This is the part with real science behind it. A 2016 review of 138 experiments, covering nearly 20,000 people, found that regularly monitoring your progress makes you more likely to reach your goals, and the effect was stronger when people physically wrote their progress down (Harkin et al., 2016). Your journal isn’t magic. It’s a tracking tool, and tracking works.
Final Thoughts
How many times must we do the same crazy things that get us the same crazy results over and over again. Know doubt you know this quote “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.” Then many people say that the law of attraction did not work in their lives. More likely, nothing changed because nothing they did changed. Same habits, same results. How does that not make sense!
Sources: Kappes, H. B., & Oettingen, G. (2011). Positive fantasies about idealized futures sap energy. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 47(4), 719-729. doi.org/10.1016/j.jesp.2011.02.003. Harkin, B., et al. (2016). Does monitoring goal progress promote goal attainment? A meta-analysis of the experimental evidence. Psychological Bulletin, 142(2), 198-229. Read the paper.
“If you only read the books that everyone else is reading, you can only think what everyone else is thinking.”
Haruki Murakami
Love that quote by Murakami, it so matter of fact. If your to lead, make an impact in your personal, social or work life then it’s imperative that you seek-out resources that can aid with creating that shift that’s so needed. The following books are packed with excellent tools, that can help. Worst case scenario you will have learned something.
Daring Greatly by Brene Brown
Part biographical and part research findings. Brown recaps the topics of her prior books on shame and wholeheartedness, and then explores the myths and realities of vulnerability. She applies her findings to areas such as education, work, and being a good parent. In the process, she recounts personal experiences from her own life, such as the vulnerability she felt after presenting her TED talks and lessons from raising her children. What emerges is a deeply personal book that mirrors the vulnerability she shows in her public speaking and seminars.
The Untethered Soul by Michael A. Singer
This book is about transcendence; transcending all negative emotions and fears so that you can live without any event in life disturbing your peace. It explains what true spirituality is and how to reach it. What I think will benefit many is the explanation around the voice in our heads, and how we can work with it.
The book is beautifully written as it is so simple and without complex language. Instead, the content is so eye opening that you will want to devour every chapter. Although it is simple, you do have to focus and maybe re read certain parts as your mind makes sense of notions being described.
The Road Less Traveled by M. Scott Peck, M.D.
The author opens with the line, “Life is difficult.” This book may serve as the ultimate roadmap to dealing with some of life’s greatest challenges with grace and love. Topics include: how to problem solve; dealing with pain; delaying gratification; being open to challenge; and developing a dedication to reality and personal growth.
What stood out was Peck’s insistence on personal responsibility in everyone’s life. Peck lays out a recipe for a fulfilled life that’s based on self-discipline, love, spirituality, and a mysterious force he calls grace. Mastering these is essential to maintain personal growth, he suggests, which in turn is key to a happy existence.
So there you have it 3 must read books to add to your tool box. If you have book suggestions, feel free to drop us a line. We’re always eager to discover what’s helped someone else along the journey.
There are a lot of cleanses out there. It seems like every week there is another one that is endorsed by some celebrity or health guru. Are they right for everyone? No, of course not. Not much is right for everyone, but there can be some that you may want to try to see how you fare. With toxins all around us, in the air and in our food, we do get bogged down from time to time, and what better way to feel better than to detox?
Toxins build up through the years and our bodies are pretty good at getting rid of a lot of them, but we still always have something we can get rid of and that’s where the body cleanse comes in. But instead of doing a crazy juice cleanse or eating just grapefruit for a week, what about tackling it a little differently, like by a lifestyle change. Sure it’ll take longer, but the results will be so much better.
You can start to detox yourself by choosing organic fruits and vegetables and staying away from anything processed or containing GMO. Also adding garlic, lemon, broccoli, beans and raw vegetables to your diet can aid in the body’s natural detoxification process. The better the food you put in, the better the outcome.
Another way to detox is to exercise. When we exercise we sweat and that releases some of the toxins in our body. It’s also great for our heart and mind so it’s a win win. Meditation is also a great thing to try as you are clearing your mind and lowering your stress level. Stress is toxic in itself so avoiding it is a great thing to do– easier said than done for sure!
We all know the benefits of water. The more you drink the better you’ll feel. Water is a detoxing agent because it helps the body flush out toxins. Adding lemon to it or cucumber will give it a kick and a nice taste and also aids in digestion and detoxing. Mix it up and drink that water.
If you want something a bit more fast acting, there is always ionic detox which uses ions charged positively and negatively to draw the toxins out of your body while you soak your feet in nice warm salty water. And of course, massage works wonders for both your mind and body in getting rid of those toxins!
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