Journal, Learning, Positive Life, Self Discovery
Do you ever find yourself or feel the need blame others? How about constantly blaming and judging yourself? There was a time when I would verbally beat myself up for mistakes, saying things like, “I’m such a f-up,” and would often say very negative things, such as, “Things will never get any better,” or “I’m a loser,” or “I’m never going to amount to much” I would begin to feel angry and agitated as a result of this self-inflicted abuse, but I never connected the anger with my self-judgment.
It began to make sense that I would not be able to stop blaming others until i stopped blaming and judging self.
I began to realize that I was letting my thoughts run rampant, never stopping to discern whether or not what I was saying to myself was the truth or a lie. As a result, i was constantly allowing the wounded part of me, my ego self, to be in charge. And this part of me was filled with all the lies i had learned in the 30 years of life.
I wanted to stop doing this, but I’ve been doing it for a large part of my life. How do I stop?”
Stopping any negative behavior is always a challenge. Changing our thought process is especially challenging. However, there is a process available, but it will only work when you’ve decided that you really want to change. Changing from being self-abusive to self-loving has to become more important to you than continuing to try to control yourself through your self-judgments.
Here are a couple steps that may help if you’re in this space:
- Pay attention to your feelings. Learn to be aware of when you are feeling angry, anxious, hurt, scared, guilty, shamed, depressed, and so on.
- Make a conscious decision to learn about what you are telling yourself that is causing your pain, rather than ignoring it, turning to substances, or continuing to abuse yourself.
- Ask yourself, “What am I telling myself that is causing me to feel badly?” Once you are aware of what you are telling yourself, ask yourself, “Am I certain that what I’m telling myself is the truth, or is it just something I’ve made up?” Then ask yourself, “What am I trying to control by telling myself this?”
- Once you are aware that you are telling yourself a lie that is causing you to feel badly, and why you are telling it to yourself, ask the highest, wisest part of yourself, or ask an inner teacher or a spiritual source of guidance, “What is the truth?” When you sincerely want to know the truth, it will easily come to you.
- Change your thinking, by telling yourself the truth.
- Notice how you feel. Lies will always make you feel badly, while the truth brings inner peace.
Any time you are not in peace, go through this process to discover what lie you are telling yourself. Eventually, with enough practice, you will be in truth and peace more and more of the time.
Journal, Learning, Positive Life
“When you breathe, you inspire. When you do not breathe, you expire.” – Quote from an 11-year-old’s science exam
John Grinder, co-creator of NLP talks about the link between respiration, physiology, internal state and high performance. He calls this ‘the chain of excellence’.
First; when you are experiencing a powerful, positive state, allow yourself to become aware of your breathing rate. Pay particular attention to the timing and rhythm of your in-breath and out-breath.
Second; Next time you are in a neutral or negative state, start breathing at the rate and rhythm from exercise one, and within a minute or so, the positive state should begin to return.
Many of the ancient text advise people to do breathing exercises regularly. Tony Robbins in his book “Unlimited Power”, advises that you start each day with a breathing exercise of inhaling slowly and deeply, then holding it for twice as long as the inhalation and exhaling in twice the pace. It really is invigorating and a great way to get motivated at the start of the day, especially if you are looking to do some things with your day that require motivation.
Breathing is powerful! It’s essential to our life force, and is a major influencer on our state of mind.
So, finally; Start breathing comfortably but deeply, in through your nose & out through your mouth. Imagine that you are breathing from that area of your abdomen just beneath your belly button. Make the in-breath last to a count of 5 and the out-breath to a count of 6. Continue for at least 2 minutes, and notice what happens.
These techniques can be very powerfully utilized when wanting to get in control of your state if you are going through a period of change such as reducing your weight, stopping smoking or developing more confidence.
Please remember that most people don’t breathe nearly enough. Start to breathe more deeply and notice how much better you feel. Have lots of fun with this. Notice how good you can make yourself feel when you breathe differently.
Journal, Learning, Positive Life, Self Discovery
We have the power to train our mind to choose what we think, instead of allowing random thoughts to hold us hostage. The goal is to become inner-directed and focused, so that we become conscious to what we want to think, rather than have our thoughts and emotions determined by the world around us. The untrained mind has more emotional ups and downs because it is reacting to random thoughts.
Just like the Earth, the brain does not discern what we plant. It will work just as hard to grow weeds as it will to grow beautiful flowers. We determine the seeds that are planted by what we say to ourselves repeatedly. (more…)
Journal, Learning, Positive Life, Self Discovery
Personal experience has shown one true thing: maximizing your productivity, happiness, peace, or impact can best be accomplished if you clearly understand the Rules of Time.
Being more efficient with your time is irrelevant if you don’t know how you want to spend it. In managing time, the desired objective is more important than the clock. To paraphrase Mr. Gary Vaynerchuck, know where you want to go and spend your time on the things that get you there.
The way we can lock in those things to get us there include the following:
- HAVE GOALS
Being more efficient with your time is irrelevant if you don’t know how you want to spend it. In managing time, the “compass is more important than the clock”. Know where you want to go and put your energy into those things that will ensure your success. (more…)
Journal, Learning
Be careful what you believe because that is what you’ll experience. Our belief system is a mechanism which is uniquely ours for the most part. It’s powered by your desire and controlled by your thoughts and actions. In other words, your success is measured by the strength of your belief.
What is it that you want? A lot of us don’t have a clue what it is we want. We can definitely express what we don’t want, and honestly that’s not a bad place to start. With that said, now is a good time to evaluate your goals and determine the end result you want to achieve. Put your goals in writing and place them where you can see them throughout the day. Read them frequently to keep them fresh on your mind. This is nothing new; however it’s not a practice that most people seem to adopt. (more…)
Journal, Learning, Positive Life, Self Discovery
Imagine finally taking off seven coats you’ve been wearing on top of each other for years and years. You’ve forgotten that some people consciously choose to live without seven layers of coats on even though most people are living that way.
You remember the possibilities you imagined your life would be when you were a child. You decide to take off the coats and start running joyfully through the spring fields you forgot about. You move into the light where you finally begin to laugh and live feeling inspired every day instead of simply walking around reacting to life, complaining, counting down the days to the next weekend or vacation until you finally die. (more…)
