People Don’t Always Want Your Advice!

Journal, Learning, Positive Life, Self Discovery

Yes, this can be consituted as “advice”! Now read and keep an open mind.

Frequently, throughout our encounters with family and friends, the subject of troubles that they are experiencing would undoubtedly come up. Inevitably, in our efforts to be helpful, we frequently respond by offering suggestions on how to resolve the problem.

The following are some of the reasons why this is not commonly recommended:

We make the assumption that we know what the problem is and neglect to be a good listener, this limits the amount of  information about the situation and the other person’s perspective.

Many of us fail to express empathy for the plight of the other person.

We are given ‘credit’ for providing the advice since the guidance is likely to be based on something that the adviser has done or something that others have done that has been effective. When someone does not succeed, or if they have tried it previously but failed, the inference is that it was not because the advise was bad, but rather because the person has not implemented it properly. The advisee is likely to feel foolish and inept as a result of this.

When we provide counsel, it can appear that we are speaking ‘down’ to the other person because we have assumed the position of ‘expert.’ We’re so anxious to chat and demonstrate our knowledge and ‘wisdom’ that we fail to interact with the other person on a ‘equal’ level with ourselves.

In the process of becoming an expert, we may forget that the other person has information that we may benefit from as well.

We are sending the message that we believe the individual will be unable to figure out the answer on his or her own. In this case, the other person feels disempowered.

We are dismissive of the person’s efforts, which we believe are insufficient. As a result, rather than assisting the individual in self-evaluation, we take on the role of evaluator of their actions.

Another option is to listen intently, avoiding offering any level of advice, UNLESS that advice is explicitely asked for. Instead, asking questions during conversation is more beneficial since it encourages the other person to think through the challenges that they are experiencing.

The Gateway To Happiness

Journal, Positive Life, Self Discovery

Do you truly desire happiness? Everyone says yes, but the path to happiness has some of us squirming in our boots. Giving to others is a path to pleasure. Consider this: “For the sake of others’ happiness, cultivate empathy. Compassion is the key to happiness.” ~ Dalai Lama.

Some of us may worry that people will take advantage of our generosity if we offer too much. In fact, your good intentions may be misconstrued as weakness by a small number of egotistical people.

However, the majority of individuals are not interested in taking advantage of the situation. “We must be the change, we want to see in the world,” attributed to Gandhi. Think about it: if we’re going to make a change, why not start with each other?

Make a donation at any time, without asking for anything in return, and don’t even tell anybody about it. Those who benefit from your charitable deeds will thank you for it. However, bigger than that, universal forces will ensure that charity is

This is what some people call “karma,” or the rule of cause and consequence. In this way, every action has a corresponding reaction. Ensure that our actions have positive outcomes.

Danny Thomas remarked, ” “Despite the fact that we are all created for a reason, we don’t know what that reason is. Life success has nothing to do with personal gains or accomplishments. It’s about what you do for others. For others, it’s about what you do for them.”

You will leave a legacy of compassion if you give up everything you have. People will try to forget you if you don’t give them something to remember you by. I want the memories I leave behind to be positive ones, since that’s all I have to go on.

So, how much should you contribute? “Heart felt,” “kind words,” a letter, a card, or a flower are all examples of “heartfelt” gestures. You’ll discover that your donations won’t leave you penniless. As a consequence, you’ll find that most individuals are naturally inclined to repay the favor.

Be courteous to everyone who provides services to you on a regular basis. When it comes to the cleaner, janitor, parking lot attendant, or customer service representative, many folks don’t even say hello.

The more you get to know the person, the more likely they are to go out of their way to provide you with excellent service, simply by addressing them with their first name.

People will appreciate your genuineness and trustworthiness no matter where you travel. That’s all there is to it. A person’s actual riches, according to Mohammed, “is the good he or she does in the world.”

Appreciating Life!

Journal, Positive Life

When we stop striving for a better life, we are living a better life.

It signifies that we are satisfied with our lives and our circumstances. Self-defeating thoughts such as wishing for more or envious of someone else’s life or assets are detrimental. There is a perpetual state of frustration, and we wait and hope for more happiness.

So, what’s the big deal? Not too much, not too little.

“You should focus on what you have rather than what you need. Choose the nicest things you have and think about how enthusiastically you would have sought them out if you didn’t.” In the words of Marcus Aurelius: (121-180)

There is a lot to be thankful for right now. In addition to our loved ones and the natural world around us, there is also our own existence. It’s all around us; we simply have to take it in. Make a list of all the nice things you’re thankful for and share it with your friends and family.

What persons would you miss if they weren’t in your life? Isn’t there a lot to enjoy and feel happy about when you take a walk? Flowers, trees, birds, and clouds in the sky are all examples of nature’s beauty. Whether it’s a caterpillar on the pavement or a wave from your neighbor. It’s hard not to smile when you see a lovely puppy or toddler having a good time.

“Be unfazed, no matter how good or bad things are going for you. Take your time and enjoy the changing colors of the flowers in your courtyard. Don’t worry about quitting or staying in your job. Allow your thoughts to follow the ebb and flow of the clouds as they move over the horizon.” – Hung Tzu-ch’eng (1593-1665)

It’s only common sense to be happy and at peace with yourself and others, and to appreciate life while it’s still here.

Don’t Re-invent the Wheel

Journal, Learning, Positive Life

When was the last time a light bulb went out at your home? We no longer have to construct a light bulb because of Thomas Edison’s work. Grab a spare or go to the store, and you’re done.

Surely you are aware that Thomas Edison had to make many, many attempts before he came up with the light bulb. When someone asked him whether he was disheartened by his failures, he replied that he was not. There was no failure in his reply: “I’ve discovered another method of how not to create a light bulb”.

There is no such thing as failure, only outcomes. Insanity, according to one definition, is doing the same thing over and again and expecting a different outcome.

We need to make some adjustments to our daily routines if we want our lives to run smoothly.

We, too, have the potential to go out like a light bulb. There are times in our lives when we feel as though there is no light or hope to be found. It’s a bleak scene, to say the least.

Please allow me to shed a little light on this (pun intended). When we’re in the depths of despair, we need light to help us find our way out. While some of us are fortunate enough to have a source of light, others must leave their homes to find it.

Thoughtful thinking may go a long way, but it can only go so far for certain people. Just a little bit of light comes from it. People are in a quandary as to how to use the additional light that is now accessible.

All problems can be solved.

What’s the best way to locate the answer? It’s our choice whether or not we try to figure it out on our own, or whether we look for someone who has previously overcome this difficulty and benchmark their example.

A wide variety of media are available nowadays that might assist us in overcoming the challenges we face in our daily lives. We must study the mistakes of others in order to improve our own lives. There is a lot of wisdom to be gained from those who have been there and done that. We are lucky to have had some of the greatest philosophers in history to look up to.

There’s always room for improvement in our lives. As difficult as it may be at times, there is always hope and assistance available.

When you’re feeling down and life seems gloomy, do something for someone else without any expectations. You may also look to those notable examples in life and use them to get yourself back on track.

Let the light shine within you instead of trying to re-invent the wheel.